eGPU, linux, "NVRM: (PCI ID: 10de:2786) installed in this system has fallen off the bus and is not responding to c

I am trying to get a 4070 in a sonnet 750ex eGPU enclosure working.
This is on proxmox PVE 8.x

The device is seen by lspci but i am unable to install the entirety of the driver with the following mesaage (this prevetns nvidia-smi etc being installed)

I have tried adding
rcutree.rcu_idle_gp_delay=2 to grub, it didn’t help.

help?

here is some more info:

root@pve-test:~# sh NVIDIA-Linux-x86_64-550.100.run --dkms -s
Verifying archive integrity... OK
Uncompressing NVIDIA Accelerated Graphics Driver for Linux-x86_64 550.100....................<cut for brevity>
ERROR: Unable to load the kernel module 'nvidia.ko'.  
r/log/nvidia-installer.log' for more information.
[  691.096054] thunderbolt 1-301: new device found, vendor=0x8 device=0x57
[  691.096056] thunderbolt 1-301: Sonnet Technologies, Inc. eGPU Breakaway Box 750ex
[  739.767006] VFIO - User Level meta-driver version: 0.3
[  739.893907] nvidia-nvlink: Nvlink Core is being initialized, major device number 508

[  739.899664] nvidia 0000:33:00.0: vgaarb: VGA decodes changed: olddecodes=none,decodes=none:owns=none
[  739.899684] NVRM: The NVIDIA GPU 0000:33:00.0
               NVRM: (PCI ID: 10de:2786) installed in this system has
               NVRM: fallen off the bus and is not responding to commands.
[  739.899689] nvidia: probe of 0000:33:00.0 failed with error -1
[  739.899702] NVRM: The NVIDIA probe routine failed for 1 device(s).
[  739.899703] NVRM: None of the NVIDIA devices were initialized.
[  739.899831] nvidia-nvlink: Unregistered Nvlink Core, major device number 508
        Subsystem: Sonnet Technologies, Inc. JHL6540 Thunderbolt 3 Bridge (C step) [Alpine Ridge 4C 2016] [16b8:7422]
        Kernel driver in use: pcieport
32:01.0 PCI bridge [0604]: Intel Corporation JHL6540 Thunderbolt 3 Bridge (C step) [Alpine Ridge 4C 2016] [8086:15d3] (rev 02)
        Subsystem: Sonnet Technologies, Inc. JHL6540 Thunderbolt 3 Bridge (C step) [Alpine Ridge 4C 2016] [16b8:7422]
        Kernel driver in use: pcieport
32:04.0 PCI bridge [0604]: Intel Corporation JHL6540 Thunderbolt 3 Bridge (C step) [Alpine Ridge 4C 2016] [8086:15d3] (rev 02)
        Subsystem: Sonnet Technologies, Inc. JHL6540 Thunderbolt 3 Bridge (C step) [Alpine Ridge 4C 2016] [16b8:7422]
        Kernel driver in use: pcieport
33:00.0 VGA compatible controller [0300]: NVIDIA Corporation AD104 [GeForce RTX 4070] [10de:2786] (rev a1)
        Subsystem: NVIDIA Corporation AD104 [GeForce RTX 4070] [10de:17ff]
        Kernel modules: nvidiafb, nouveau
33:00.1 Audio device [0403]: NVIDIA Corporation Device [10de:22bc] (rev a1)
        Subsystem: NVIDIA Corporation Device [10de:17ff]
        Kernel driver in use: snd_hda_intel
        Kernel modules: snd_hda_intel

i tried with drivers 560.28.03 no difference