Black Screen when Nvidia connected, Software and Updates don't see card anymore, GDC used, GT 1030 fan running

The post you linked is irrelevant. To get what you want, basically you just need to enable the egpu for graphcs use and enable prime.
If you have any /etc/X11/xorg.conf created, delete it. Then create /etc/X11/xorg.conf.d/10-nvidia-egpu.conf only containing

Section "OutputClass"
    Identifier "nvidia-egpu"
    MatchDriver "nvidia-drm"
    Driver "nvidia"
    Option "AllowExternalGpus" "True"
EndSection

After reboot, the gpu should be in offload, aka on-demand mode
https://download.nvidia.com/XFree86/Linux-x86_64/495.44/README/primerenderoffload.html
If you want the nvidia gpu render everything, change it to

Section "OutputClass"
    Identifier "nvidia-egpu"
    MatchDriver "nvidia-drm"
    Driver "nvidia"
    Option "AllowExternalGpus" "True"
    Option     "PrimaryGpu" "yes"
EndSection

If anything fails

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